Shhhhh...did you hear that?

The beginning of school year brings so many wonderful things: fresh new kicks, pristine paper, newly sharpened pencils, glue with absolutely no dried gunk around the nozzle, and plenty of smiling faces (child, adolescent & adult faces)

Classes begin with rosters names, proper pronunciations, classroom rules, syllabi, expectations, blah, blah, blah. Teachers help give directions for lost students, console both students and frightened parents, there's almost a sense of over-communication...yet there also never seems to be enough.
Forms, upon forms, upon forms are filled out. Usually they're crinkled, crumpled, stained messes by the time that they are collected.

During the beginning weeks, I took the time to walk around my school as much as possible and I took away this:
Good teachers are on it. They were organized, getting the tone set, dusting off the old summer habits and breaking kids in before the calendar turned to September.
Great teachers LISTENED. They did all the above but they began collecting data.

Data?  (Please, not another read about data)

Ok, instead of data...clues, information, hints, etc. about their learners.
See GOOD teachers know their content. They know how to effectively deliver it, etc.
GREAT teachers learn how to best deliver to the unique individuals in their room. How do they do that?  They LISTEN
They ask personal and probing questions. They have them write about their interests or draw about something they enjoy. They let them use technology to create and let their minds go wild. They let them choose where they want to sit...maybe just a day or two. GREAT TEACHERS listen even when students don't talk. And this begins on DAY 1.

I observed, that this act of listening is not in just GREAT TEACHERS, but simply GREAT PEOPLE. I saw in meetings where people know all of the answers, know all of the Ins & Outs don't check email, don't text...they ACTIVELY LISTEN.
They make eye contact. (I asked a student to look at me when I was disciplining him. What was that a power play on my part? Nope, I wanted to read him. Hear what he was saying while I was talking. He was angry at me...but he did look at me, & he didn't want to. Good for him)
How well do I learn? Later that evening I'm reading Twitter while my wife is trying to tell me about her day.  So the "Suspendee" is teaching the "Suspender". I should have made the eye contact, and ACTIVELY listened. Not to stay out of trouble, but because she and her story deserved me to be present. I saw GREAT TEACHERS listen to angry kids swear and yell and scream horrible things at them (yes, already) and you know what they heard? Change is scary for me. I don't like myself. I don't trust adults. I feel awful and can't explain it. GREAT TEACHERS hear things that aren't spoken.

Great people, great leaders, listen to those who are sharing and collaborating. Sometimes it's for the value of what's being shared, and sometimes it's to value those WHO are sharing. Ever been in a team meeting and not everyone on the team shares? Why is that? It's funny how there are things to listen and hear when nothing is said. I'm fortunate to work for a fabulous listener. One of the best in the business. He listens to parents, teachers, community members, administrators, custodians, everyone...even the person getting fries next to him at McDonalds. He taught me that listening and hearing is NOT AGREEING, Chad. I listened to that.  I can't wait to learn more from those I work for, from those I work beside, and from those who sit across from me even when they're in trouble. For everyone deserves to be actively listened to when they speak. And the ones who don't speak, probably need to be heard the most.

So on this early Friday Eve of the new school year, I raise my wonderful beverage on this beautiful late summer evening to all those GREAT LISTENERS out there...and I'll raise it one more time to the ASPIRING ONES like me :)

HELP!!!: I Can Swim & I'm Drowning

Life preservers can come in all different forms. They can be rings, buoys or jackets. They could be be just metaphors or symbols. For me, I experienced a very real rescue. My life preserver was EMPATHY, & it saved me. Not metaphorically, but literally. I can't wait to use this lesson in my life to be a better husband, father, friend, educator & servant.

EMPATHY is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

I participated in my very first triathlon on Saturday, 6/24. I was ready! There are of course 3 stages: Swimming, Cycling & Running

I've been running for years, so the 3rd stage was not a concern. The cycling, the 2nd stage, was another challenge. I would be using the good ole' Schwinn Sprint model from the late '80's. Didn't quite fit w/ the veterans of the triathlon circuit. It's pretty humbling to hear "On Your Left!" over and over, mile after mile as all kinds of athletes zoom by you. You see numbers like 23, 42, 68, 75, etc on calf muscles as they race by. Those are the ages of the participants who leave myself and my Schwinn in the dust. However, with several practice mornings and afternoons, I felt ready for the 2nd stage.

The opening stage of the Sprint Tri was a 1/2 mile swim in open water (a small lake). I can swim. Heck I can swim multiple strokes if necessary, but the 1/2 mile took some training. Several mornings and afternoons were spent swimming laps upon laps in the pool. Before long I could easily swim well beyond the distance required. I even learned to breathe comfortably on both sides so I could handle traffic and other issues. FORESHADOWING: Swimming in a pool is NOT swimming in open water. Especially when the open water has a visibility of less than 1 foot.

RACE DAY: Perfect weather, the sun was rising. The sky was bright blue. It was cool, but the lake water felt warm. I was in the 2nd wave of contestants: Light blue caps!  (Hadn't worn a cap before...didn't much care for the look) The 1st wave were royal blue caps. They were the younger guys. Beyond me were the orange caps, these were the older males. Behind them, were the various waves of women: White caps, yellow caps, etc.

The starter counted down for the second wave; the horn blasts...we're off!  I'm not running in the water like most, but I'm moving more than a trot. Man, the mucky bottom of the lake is gross! Within seconds, I'm swimming in the lake. Moving inward on the arc so I can cut down on swim distance; Man I'm smart! I've maybe taken 3-4 freestyle strokes and I'm out of breath; race adrenaline and excitement. No biggie, I planned for this. 
"Calm down, Chad...breathe" Go retired-swimmer-style, I tell myself...sidestroke. Get you bearings and breathe; then swim and get in this thing.
Done! Sidestroke over, and I start swimming. I've made 2 strokes...I can't see!  
I mean N-O-T-H-I-N-G. 
My goggles are not fogged, but I can't see. The lake is black as night. I can't see down, I can't see forward, I can't see my hand in front of me during my stroke. I can't see...and I can't breathe. "Oh my God, I can't breathe"  ~ Can't stop running and start walking like in stage 3. Can't pull the bike over and walk...this is open water. Deep? don't know and don't care. You can't see my crappy light blue cap over 1 foot below the surface. "Oh my God, I still can't breathe" 
That's because I wasn't breathing...I had no rhythm, I had no cadence. I was not breathing out underwater.

Regroup #2: Side stroking again...I'm about 75m-80m into the 800 m swim (That's like 3 laps of the 40 in the pool; but this isn't the pool)

Ready to swim again; side stroke over. "Besides, I can't swim sidestroke for a half-mile...that's too long"-I tell myself. Head goes back in the water, breathing out...bubbles flow past my face. I can see those, but not my hands. As the bubbles stop I can't even complete the stroke. "I can't see and I can't breathe" I swallow several ounces of lake water! I stop. Am I drowning? Is this what it feels like? How you go from fine to deep trouble? There are only a few light blue caps around. An orange cap plows into me as I just sit idle in the middle of the lake; more ounces of the lake water go down. I have to move, so I begin to swim. I can't put my face in the water. When I do, I feel as though someone is holding my face underwater and drowning me. "Oh my God! I can swim & I'm drowning!"  More orange caps go by and sprinkled in them are some white caps. 
I put my hand up and paddle towards a life guard in a kayak. She's in red. 

The guard paddles over and tosses me a buoy. I'm pissed! I yank my goggles off and swear. She calmly talks to me; I'm not so calm with her. I say, " I can swim! What the hell? I can't even get my face in the water! #@$#!"
She says, "You can't see can you? It's normal. Relax. Breathe."
I do just that.
She then asks, "Can you backstroke? Can you breast stroke?"
"Yeah", I spit out. I'm still giving her a look of...umm I can't do this. I can swim, but I can't swim now...I'm drowning. 
She looks at me as says this (And it's magical! It's the preserver of all preservers. It did more than the buoy I was holding on to.)

 "Look, same thing happened to me. It took me 2 years to swim in the lake. You keep your head out of the water. You backstroke, you breaststroke, you do whatever you can. You get your bearings and you'll be fine. If you feel like it roll over and swim. If not, back & breast until you're done"

IT WORKED. Stage 1 wasn't perfect. I struggled for the entire 1/2 mile. I ingested way more of that lake than I had planned. But I lived...more importantly I grew. I changed, evolved the teacher had been taught!

Today, 24 hrs later, I know it was her EMPATHY that saved me. It wasn't the buoy, it wasn't the suggestions, the strokes, or any plan. And before you argue the contrary. I agree that her BEST PRACTICES; her suggestions were essential to my survival. Those wouldn't have mattered without her EMPATHY. Those two magical sentences saved me. See I could swim. That wasn't the problem. The problem was in that moment, I couldn't. I was afraid, ashamed, embarrassed, and ALONE. All of the best practices in the world couldn't help. She could tell me different strokes, etc. Those solutions couldn't and wouldn't have worked. She could tell me to "Relax and breathe". 
Yeah, I could do that, just not on my own. And clearly not for the remainder of my swim.
The second she said, "Same thing happened to me. It took me 2 years..."  I was saved.  
I wasn't alone!
She understood me and shared my feelings, related to my real fear and danger. She, the guard; my savior had been vulnerable too. Her empathy in the middle of this dark lake was the life preserver that I needed.

So as an educator, how many of our students can perform but for some reason or another they can't today? Maybe they've mastered skills, standards, etc. But today or this week or this month something has happened. "Yo!!!  I CAN SWIM, BUT I'M DROWNING"
Do they ask? Do they say that? Or do they sink and can no longer be seen 1 foot below the surface?

Many times if I noticed them struggling, the educator in me would spout best practices, or here's how, or here's the technique...Do this, do that. That may not be the help that they needed. Maybe they needed me to truly understand and share their feelings. Maybe they needed EMPATHY before the best practices could even take root... "Same thing happened to me" ~ She saved me with that sentence, thank you  whoever you are!
As a spouse or a father; maybe it's not mine to fix. Maybe the suggestions or the here's how or what to do is not needed. I'm talking about the types of strokes to use. "yeah, I can do that, but I ain't letting go of this buoy. That's not what I need" I need you to understand and share with my feelings first, before my face goes back in that water".

You never know when life lessons will present themselves. I'm a believer in that's why you take risks, that's why we need to continue to evolve and change. Yesterday I took on risks but had no clue what life lessons were coming my way. I mentioned earlier that I can't wait to use this lesson to help me evolve and grow. I hope this true story plants seeds in those who lead, educate and live with others. Either way, my next thing to do is find my savior and teacher of empathy from Saturday, June 24th 2017. She may not know she was a teacher that day on the lake; but she deserves a sincere thanks. She was my savior. And if I don't find her, I will thank any volunteer or local/employee at the YMCA or state park. That's who ran my event. I will pay it forward. Here's to understanding and sharing the feelings of our students, our colleagues and family in the days to come~Be Empathetic & SAVE LIVES

Stump Speech

The Stump Speech

Students need extra help, time before or after school

Parents call or email; they need that response now!!!!!!!!!!

Here, you say, Swing from my branches, eat my apples & sleep in the shade

Your child has on the same clothes all week; they smell

Students have no supplies; they sleep during most classes

Here, you say,Take my apples to the city and sell them. Have some money & be happy

The principal emails and asks for more of your time. More is added to your full plate...should have grabbed two plates at the start of this buffet line

Your students struggle at home. This school is the safest, cleanest place they have

Here, you say, Cut my branches and build yourself a home. Take what I have for your comfort and shelter

Grades are due, emails are piling up, students hands are raised, and the bell is about to ring.

Assignments need regraded, assessments are around the corner, stop all learning kids...it’s ISTEP time

Here, you say, Take my trunk. Take my heart and soul so you can build a boat and sail. Sail away to reach your hopes and dreams

Awards are written and signed. Programs are dedicated to children. You have positively and professionally promoted all that you can for students and colleagues.

You have shared, cried, bled, collaborated, and sacrificed.

You are a forest of trees. You are shelter, safety and sources for all who enter. You are the GIVERS of all time. You are stumps.

I stand here and look out at a forest of stumps. It is time for you to rest, replenish and grow again. As life-long learners it is time for you to grow so you can provide again. For to be an educator, is to be a provider of shelter when there are no branches left, a provider of knowledge when all fruits of labor have been plucked, an enabler for dreamers to sail when know materials are left...You are GIVERS, when there’s nothing left to give.

Rest, replenish & grow.  Thank you teachers